EARTH COMMUNICATIONS
REVIEW: THE KILLER ROBOTS AND THE BATTLE FOR THE COSMIC POTATO
Written by Pamela Torres
Originally posted at www.shriekfreak.com on Wednesday, 27 October 2010 05:00
“From the darkest corners of the universe to the brightest core of the galaxy, we strike at thee!”
I’ll never forget how much my stomach muscles hurt from laughing out loud during a screening I saw last year of “The Killer Robots and the Battle for the Cosmic Potato.” Out of all the brand new, yet-to-be-released films that were scheduled on the Spooky Empire list in fresh red ink, this was the absolute best because of how it simultaneously parodies and pays a homage to the embarrassingly cheesy sci-fi B-movies that populated American drive-in’s way back in the apple pie 50’s. The stars of this full-length CGI comet, the Killer Robots, are a 4-piece outfit that plays a smashing mix of intergalactic punk and surf rock while thanklessly donning elaborate chrome and silver automaton costumes and captivating crowds of earthlings with eye-popping comic book stage shows. The Orlando-based band was first founded in 2004 by bassist Sam Gaffin (AUTO – a pilot who is sensitive but not very bright) and also consists of guitarist and frontman Samuel Williams (STROBO – the leader and hero of the pack), keyboardist Mike McGowan (MAX – a mechanoid party animal and ladies’ man) and drum smasher Charles Harris (TROG – a hulking Neanderthal who uses his gargantuan fists to demolish everything in his path). To coincide with the release of their self-titled debut album, which can be easily purchased off the CDbaby website, the quartet pooled all their nerdy computer whiz talents into creating their own madcap adventures in outer space, taking charge of camerawork and storyboards while Gaffin penned the script and sat in the director’s chair. I’m going to be bold here by saying that “Battle for the Cosmic Potato” is what “Kiss Meets the Phantom of the Park” should have been!
The story about 5 billion years into the future when the four bumbling but fun-loving androids bust out of the Alpha Maximum Security Prison by detonating anti-matter battery toys that were mysteriously mailed to them in the arts and crafts rehabilitation room . The Killer Robots hijack a ship, and because Auto was dumb enough not to watch where he was going, they crash onto an asteroid only to be rescued from the prison’s guards by Titus, a green blob of an alien from the planet Avalar. The flying vehicle he sent looks like a pink hand grenade with jellyfish tentacles. Titus then instructs the Killer Robots to go on a quest to retrieve the cosmic spud, a powerful root that scientists activated in the year 4856 XK to irrigate and nourish his civilization until the potato was stolen in a raid orchestrated by Tempestua Technar (Jenna Hellmuth). The theft caused all of Avalar’s plant life to die, thus leaving the surface a rocky, inhabitable husk. Even worse, no military or economic aid was ever provided by the bureaucratic leaders of the planetary alliance.
After the Robots agree to take the assignment and are given a functional spacecraft (which is basically a Monty Python foot), Strobo comes up with the bright idea of travelling to Vandalar 8, a celestial vice sphere that thrives on booze and piracy, to extract information from the brain of a retired crime lord named Captain Pic, who unfortunately is forced to wear a life support system that makes him look like a wannabe Dalek from Doctor Who. Once it’s revealed that Technar and her laser-toting Machine Gun Sally clones (Sally Evans) were heading to the planet Ralega, Auto creates a diversion by allowing them to take him prisoner and presenting to Technar a message of diplomacy he undoubtedly learned in the William Shatner School of Public Speaking! While all this is going on , the film bears a subplot involving Omega-Ra (Jacob Dupree) and the toaster-faced Nimrod (Chris Welty), two heavily armed bounty hunters who are hired to pursue the four fugitives and return them to Alpha dead or alive.
Did I forget to mention that you’ll see from time to time a floating, fish-like head that randomly appears on the screen and spouts out parables that make no sense whatsoever? Good! Then I’m not repeating myself! Also, Lloyd Kaufman of Troma makes a cameo appearance as the President of the Universe!
The low-budget graphics resemble a brightly colored side-scroll video game with martians of all different shapes and sizes. Thee partially improvised dialogue is chockfull of screwball comedy and intentionally bad overacting. Only someone like Sam Gaffin can say a line like, “We better hide in a cave or something” and make it sound boffo-worthy! No official DVD release date has been confirmed yet*, but the “Battle for the Cosmic Potato” can be rented and watched on Amazon and youtube.
*The Killer Robots and the Battle for the Cosmic Potato DVD is now available at Amazon.com.
The Killer Robots Movie On DVD. Buy Now at Amazon.com!
